Hablando de lo que pica el gallo…formando un arroz con mango.
When it comes to dating, I think it’s easy to say that dating a Cuban or Latino means you’re dating her/him, the mother, the brother, the father, los vecinos and even the checkout woman from La Farmacia. Luckily for any guy I decide to date, meeting my family will always be put off to the very end. Y porque? I don’t know what the guy would do or how he would react if he met my parents and everyone else from the block who comes over to evaluate my potential suitor, or para hablar mierda later. So to save me from embarrassment, I assimilated and still, to this day, do it the American way: Wait a couple of months, and if we make it past 3 months or things are getting serious then you have the honor of meeting my posse and crew.
Pues like Mami says “la calle esta mal” so when it comes to dating, in Miami nonetheless, a girl’s got to take precautions when bringing home a local Cubiche or Latino (it’s Miami, the odds of finding un Americano blanco are slim). First and foremost is the test to even see if he is worth talking to. So for all the single Cuban girls the following list is created just to ensure you the best in dating a Cuban man (if you decide you even want to continue the rice and bean saga).
Ok number 1 on the list: Never ever turn around or even bother talking to man who yells “oye jevita ven pa’ca”. No it’s not cute or funny. If he can’t be proper the first time, what makes you think he will be civil with your abuela que tiene 75 anos? (Remember if you interrupt her novela for a loser she wont be too happy and la chancleta might come off.)
Ok, stop laughing because we all know where boys like that hang out. Now rule number 2 ladies: Odds are if his mami o su abuela que es muy amable (got to love abuela even if she isn’t yours) still washes his cansonsillos, le limpa su cuarto, cuts his bistec and slices his bananas while she serves him his arroz y frijoles, he probably thinks you will do the same. So unless you’re planning on doing that from day one, Don’t bother bringing him home, because Papi didn’t pay for la universidad for you to clean/pick-up/serve un delincuente (my fathers name for all boys I ever was interested in.)
Now when it comes to rule 3 this one is quite simple but sometimes we tend to forget: Remember ladies los hombres Cubanos siempre tiene algo bajo la manga. Case in point, “ese huevo quiere sal“is a Cuban saying that basically implies that someone is feeling/interested in you. From what I have noticed and experienced with Cuban men or maybe Latino men in general is if they are talking/texting/messaging you/facebooking/ or any other means to get your attention they are most of the time interested in something. So always think either two steps ahead of him or always be aware of this, because as much muela as he gives you (and I’m a sucker to admit it’s appealing flirtation) be aware he might of told la ortra chica the same line!
These may seem like easy guidelines but we tend to forget the fundamentals sometimes. Take this as a reminder because we all know Cuban women are the smartest (or we like to think we are.)